you never know until you go look and see

Thanksgiving

golookandsee — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 11:44:56 +0000

The Kathmandu segment of the family kicked off the holiday season this year by attending a Thanksgiving function at the Ambassador’s residence. That would be the Ambassador to Nepal from the United States. He lives in a lovely house in central Kathmandu, heavily walled of course, with a rather large lawn. The program consisted of a few short speeches, a reading by his wife and a performance by kids from the American school here. The performance was actually a highlight. It was mostly musical in nature but included some of the most adorable and ridiculous looking costumes I’ve ever seen for a Thanksgiving performance. (Do we do Thanksgiving performances in the US?) Imagine three rows of small children dressed as pumpkins, pilgrims and turkeys (the turkeys were the best in silver velveteen bodysuits and multicolored feather headdresses). There were some technical difficulties with the accompaniment music and all were fidgeting and throwing their feathers around and trying to punch each other through their pumpkin suits. It was odd to catch this glimpse into long-term expat life. Most of the people attending this little gathering are long time Kathmandu residents who work in development of some kind, have families here and live this funny dual life of being in Nepal and yet not being Nepali.

Our family Thanksgiving was a mix of Nepali colleagues, grad students and longer term expats. It was a bit of an eclectic bunch but we succeeding in making merry. It is traditional in our family to have no mai fan (Chinese sticky rice cooked in chicken broth) at Thanksgiving. My mom has an aversion to bread stuffing and with a few notable exceptions I also can’t really stand the stuff. In addition to this critical dish, we also had turkey (imported at an outrageous price from Australia), sweet potatoes, green beans (Nepali style), cranberry sauce (the canned stuff but surprisingly delicious) and fruit salad. I’m sure I’m forgetting something here. Oh and pie. There were three pies which I can proudly say turned out fairly well (I can really only take credit for rolling out the crust). We did have one slight mishap where there was a miscommunication about how warm apple pie and whipped cream go together (served on the side, not spread evenly over the top prior to being put in the oven). As a result, my little crust leaf decorations weren’t on display, but it tasted pretty good! Sadly, I have no pictures of the feast.

Women in the workplace

golookandsee — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 06:16:43 +0000

So the list of possibilities for the next place I’ll end up seems to be growing by the minute. The strangest part about it is that I actually have little to no control over this next move. Sure I can put in my two cents, try to navigate this mysterious ranking and matching business as best I can, but really it’s not up to me. As someone who has strong feelings about women in the workplace and being an independent adult and all that jazz it’s a bit galling to be taking a backseat on where I’ll spend the next 5 years of my life. On the other hand, it’s also freeing. I don’t actually have to worry too much about where I’ll be this time next year because, well, I can’t possibly know.

About my strong feelings on women in the workplace. Let me preface this by saying that I think women get a bit of a rotten deal when it comes to Careers with a capital “C”. First of all, we got the baby-incubating biological parts and like it or not if you want to give birth to children you’ll be forced to at least pause for a breath or two in the midst of your Career. Then there’s the taking care of said children. While good daycare can work for some people I just wouldn’t want to miss out on my kids early years. ‘Sides, I personally think I’m the best person to raise my own kids (take note Mother dearest). Okay, that’s not fair, there are plenty of people that I think (in fact am counting on) having a role in the raising of my children including my partner and both of our families. Still, kids are awfully tricky little creatures and I want to have a hand in how they grow up. Who wouldn’t want to? It’s like the world’s most amazing science experiment. First you make them yourself out of your own flesh and blood (or adopt them or what have you) and then you get to stuff ideas into their heads and nutritious foods into their little stomachs and voila! A person! A whole separate person with a life of their own (my kids? probably a mind of their own too).

My point is that all these things are rattling around in my head pretty much solely because of society’s expectations of women. Especially those that want to be a mother and also want to have a Career. I feel fairly strongly that women (and men for that matter) ought to have an equal say as to what kind of a balance they want to strike in their partnered lives between work (as in income generating) and non-work activities. I say partnered lives because a single person is much less complicated. On my own, alone, I can decide what kind of lifestyle I want to live and what kind of money I need to get there and what kind of work I’d like to engage in to support myself and work toward those goals (in theory – of course, women here in Nepal often don’t have these choices at all but let’s restrict this particular discussion to, well, me and others like me – women of the developed world who have had every opportunity to make their own lives through extensive excellent education and plenty of other social support but who still find themselves angsty about work-life-family). With a partner, in my case male, who also wants to have a Career it has taken a lot of soul-searching to be okay with putting my career aspirations second to my other life aspirations (family, motherhood). Also, it’s taken me a while to realize that I’m not, in fact, just putting my aspirations aside to support his but rather that there are other things that I want out of life too and if I choose a life partner with a career of their own then something’s gotta give.

It’s just now sinking in just how much has been invested in my brain. Soon now I’ll have a masters degree. For those considering pursuing a masters let me spoil the suspense. One doesn’t feel like a master of much afterward. I really thought going into this thing that I might at least feel like I’d mastered one little piece of my chosen field. Not so much. Master of my own destiny? Definitely not.

Walking to work

golookandsee — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 06:47:18 +0000

Today I walked to work. Yes it is Sunday here but I work with a local organization and they operate on a six day week (as does much of Nepal). I like walking to work. I mean I once walked for work (professional dog walker – don’t knock it til you’ve tried it) and I like to see a city on foot, to get at least some exercise each day, to feel like I am reducing my ecological footprint by making my own emissions-free footprints. My walk this morning was just over two hours (two hours and five minutes door to door) and in some ways it wasn’t ideal. The pollution in Kathmandu is miserable, sidewalks are a rare luxury, cars (and worse motorcycles!) are not at all respectful of pedestrians and there is a lot of trash to navigate. On the other hand, all of the pros of walking still apply and I’d much rather spend two hours walking than an hour sitting in traffic on an impossibly crowded bus. I wish I had brought my camera along with me on my walk, if only to capture the sheer numbers of motorcycles and the smartly uniformed (blue with white gloves) female traffic police who are attempting to control them.

Fragrant dwarf rhododendron (a picture as a break from all my rambling)

golookandsee — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 05:31:41 +0000

Early morning frost on wonderful smelling rhododendron that is regularly burned as incense.

Communication (and smiling when it doesn’t work)

golookandsee — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 05:25:15 +0000

Lately, I’ve realized that working cross-culturally is a challenge. I know you’re thinking, “okay Captain Obvious”. I guess in my inexperience and naïveté I thought that working with Nepali colleagues would be relatively straightforward. I’ve never had anything but positive experiences in Nepal and I thought having parents who have lived and worked here for a significant amount of time would probably forestall the kind of miscommunication that can happen. Surprise, my parents’ skills and experiences haven’t magically rubbed off on me. My Nepali just flat out isn’t good enough to converse substantively about much of anything. I can make my way across town on public transportation, bargain in the market and relay the basics about what I do here in Nepal, how long I’m staying and a few other topics (No, I am not married. Yes, really, I am 26 and not married). All of my communication at work has actually been in English. As a second (or 3rd or 4th) language for everyone I’m working with it’s possible that things got lost in translation. On the other hand, it’s not just about language. Really it’s about expectations and communicating one’s expectations clearly. If you don’t manage this than you can be suddenly confronted with unfulfilled expectations that seem to come out of the blue (er, out of the gray, we’ve had a heck of a lot of fog/smog/cloud around here lately). I’ve been out in the working world communicating with people for about 5 years now and let me tell you, in this arena I still feel like I have a lot to learn. I think it just takes time and experience and self-confidence and all those things that you can only learn by living through difficult situations and coming out the other side.

So I’m off to work to put on a brave face and try to make things right. Sometimes all you can do is smile.

Thyangboche (Tengboche)

golookandsee — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 12:05:53 +0000

Thyangboche chorten, view from the gompa

Pictures from the trek will be dribbling in because uploading things here is ssslowwww. And in no particular order because chronologies are overrated (read: I’m too lazy to organize myself). Isn’t that late afternoon sunshine gorgeous? We were happy to see it after hiking in snow that morning!

On terms

golookandsee — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 11:38:39 +0000

Last night my family was reduced to hoots of laughter at the concept that the ubiquitous (well I think this fad is now over) term “boo” derived from a mispronunciation of the antiquated “beau” (which my dad still uses). The giggles really got underway when my mom started reciting the lyrics to “Me and my boo” at the dinner table (more proof that adults shouldn’t be given instant access to the internet via handheld devices). However, the interwebs was not able to give a definitive explanation for the origin of “boo” so I suppose our ad hoc etymology is as good as any.

In other news, have you realized lately that there is a real lack of decent terms for one’s…uh… shall we say…lover? partner? boyfriend/girlfriend? the incredibly unwieldy significant other? For Pete’s sake significant other is six syllables! Practically it’s own haiku line. Mom chimed in with the oh so helpful census derived POSSLQ, person of opposite sex sharing living quarters (Dad said, What? Parcel queue?). Partner would be perfect if it didn’t smack of business deals and doctors offices. Not to mention that if I say partner people inevitably think my…uh…partner is female like me. Boyfriend sounds like locker notes and letter jackets and lover sounds rather temporary and unidimensional. Does lover really cover shared bank accounts and long distance? Despite some reservations, I do think partner might be the best of these. I like that it’s gender neutral and applicable at nearly every stage of a relationship. Even married people could use partner if they so chose. Let’s mainstream partner, shall we?

The biggest, baddest (okay just tallest) one

golookandsee — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 09:33:28 +0000

Here’s a classic this-pic-taken-by-my-dad-that’s-why-the-people-are-tiny-but-the-mountains-are-stunning shot. Everest in the background.

A list of street sights

golookandsee — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 09:16:45 +0000

So I started this post 2 years ago, but have found myself back in the land of strange street sights and all these things are still here.

1. Cows eating trash – you would think that cows wouldn’t really like trash. Cows here are allowed to do anything they like and this is their activity of choice. Oh and blocking traffic.

2. Man on bicycle with two giant gas canisters – nerve-wracking much??

3. Sad mangy dogs.

4. Women in every imaginable color and color combination – Red stripes and green polkadots. Neon blue, orange and chocolate brown. Maroon and hot pink and my personal favorite bright red and lime green.

5. School kids in uniform - the girls are the cutest. Pigtails are SO in around here.

6. Crazed taxi drivers – or maybe they just look crazy because of the punk-rocker hair cuts.

7. Sidewalk pooja spots – a dot of red tika powder, little stick of incense, marigold petals.

8. Plastic bags, plastic bags, plastic bags – these things should be banned.

Blog fail

golookandsee — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 06:52:19 +0000

Amazing. Since I wrote the fateful words “I am determined to post more often…Daily…” I have posted approximately, uh, ZERO, zero times since. In a month. Shame. My sister called me out on it in a trans-Europe/Asia Skype so here’s a post just for her. Life in Kathmandu is currently grey and cold. I am wearing fingerless gloves and a down vest inside at my desk. I can’t complain though as I can also see a giant (as in over 10 ft tall) poinsettia tree from where I am sitting. It’s quite Christmas-y. I know, it’s barely November. In other news, I miss fall. Fall here isn’t really fall. Things are blooming like crazy and all the foliage is green green green. Also, the lovely Kathmandu dust kind of precludes the whole crisp air thing.

Things that happened in the month since I last posted:

1. Dasain/Tihar – Lovely major Hindu holidays. We Bhai Tika-ed with the best of em.

2. The Family Memorial Trek. Epic (except for the absence of said sister and an abundance of minor illnesses). Also, my sweetie got to be a part of it which made it extra special.

3. Visit from fellow SBI-er K-tyna! Woo hoo! While it was a bit surreal to be sitting at a coffee shop in Kathmandu with a friend from the wilds of Baltimore, it was also awesome. We talked shop (internship highs and woes) and generally caught up on life. She’s off exploring the Annapurnas now but she’ll be back in a few days.

Okay. Happy, lil sis?

More posts with pictures to come soon (maybe).